When your relationship hits some tough times, you may wonder if getting into counseling might be a good idea. Here are 10 ways to increase the impact of couple’s therapy.

1. Don’t just go to counseling so you can say you tried everything. If you don’t have any interest in trying to save the relationship, don’t waste your time and money on counseling.
2. Be honest with the therapist. Therapists aren’t mind readers, and all we have to go on is what you tell us.
3. If you are having an affair, stop it. Therapy isn’t going to fix that when it stays a secret anyway.
4. Make and keep regular therapy appointments. It’s important to show up.
5. If your therapist suggests homework, do it. There’s a reason for it, and people who do homework between sessions progress a lot faster.
6. Be willing to change yourself, not your partner. You can’t change someone else anyway.
7. Make sure both of you like your therapist and think it’s a good fit.
8. Speak up about your concerns. A therapy session is the perfect place to talk about issues that you normally have trouble talking about.
9. It’s okay to talk about intimacy issues. Most couple’s therapists welcome this and won’t be shocked by whatever you might say.
10. Have hope. Counseling can be incredibly helpful for couples that value each other and want the relationship to be better.

 Couple’s therapists are credentialed through American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy at www.aamft.org. They have a therapist finder service online at www.therapistlocator.net.